Submitted By Sharon Gibson, LMT
When I first began practicing massage therapy, back in the mid-70s, when legitimate therapeutic massage wasn’t so commonplace as it has become, I had a young male client who assumed he was there to receive more. When this became apparent, quite soon into the massage, I very calmly and professionally explained to him the difference between what he expected, and the nature of what I had to offer. Fortunately he didn’t force the issue and accepted the massage on my basis. He had never actually experienced a professional, therapeutic massage prior and was so impressed he left me a very generous tip. I did not try to embarrass or humiliate him in any way and just dropped his initial improper assumption.
If you were confronted with the same situation again, how might you handle things differently?
Response from Sharon Gibson, LMT
I feel I handled the situation as best I could and it worked out well, as was clear by the outcome, so I don’t think there’s anything I would change.
Response from Institute for Integrative Healthcare Studies
Unfortunately, the perception of massage has often been misconstrued by some to mean a bit more than a therapeutic bodywork session. The implication of sexual favors as a part of massage reached a peak in the mid-1940s and seems to have persisted despite the efforts of professional organizations as well as massage therapists.
The best thing we can do is to help educate clients as to what to expect. This can be done by having various handouts explaining what therapeutic massage is all about as well as having them fill out an intake form requesting contact information and a health history. Having a professional demeanor, perhaps incorporating some kind of uniform attire and a décor with clinical touches helps to convey the therapeutic quality of a massage session.
Many people, like the young man above, are simply misinformed. The way it was handled, in this case, relayed the message well and, as a result, there is one less person who has the wrong idea about massage therapy. Hopefully he spread the word!
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“reached a peak in the mid-1940s and seems to have persisted despite the efforts of professional organizations as well as massage therapists – well it would go away if massage professionals would stop talking about it, writing about it, and acting as if there is something to clear up. Prostitution has nothing to do with massage and the sooner massage therapists stop trying to convince the public of this the sooner they will be taken seriously as professionals.
Actually, throughout the late 60’s-70’s, massage parlors were fronts for prostitution. So yes, there was a stigma attached to Massage Therapy that we are still trying to live down. I am frequently referred to most of the people I talk to as a “masseuse”. I simply correct them and move the conversation along. Unfortunately, there are quite a few people who hold those two images in their head. We can only overcome it by teaching our clients and the general public the difference. Then we can be taken seriously as not only professionals, but as health practitioners as well.
Unfortunately, whether we talk about it or not, this still exists. In 24 years of practice, I have had two incidents of “mistaken identity”, while wearing white, while in a clinical setting.
I think the time is long overdue for Licensed Massage Therapists to open a discussion with local law enforcement about why it is that we continue to allow advertising for prostitution, when we don’t legally allow prostitution in many of the areas in which it is advertised. Perhaps if we can get others on board and limit the use of the word “Massage” in advertising venues to those who are CMT’s/LMT’s. Maybe then we can turn the page finally and stop the illicit in intention from contributing to the confusion. If someone were falsely claiming to be a doctor or a lawyer via an advertisement, that person would be in a lot of trouble. Why is that not the case here?
In some states, it IS illegal to use the word “massage” if you are not licensed. Should be all.
In my state it is illegal, and we supposedly have title protection, yet nothing is done and sex trafficking called massage is all over. it would be nice if all the time money & energy put into state licensing would be useful against this, but it has NOT been. Just ignoring this issue does not make it go away, Local law enforcement does nothing because sex establishments provide a nice back door income in the form of bribes, and people want sexual services, whether or not lawmakers admit it. Laws that are not enforced or unenforced have no teeth and are useless. Massage therapists must insist on closing all illicit providers in their areas until it happens.
Whoa! you men sexual favors are not part of the massage process ? Guess I’ve been doing it wrong for the last 20 years. Thanks for the info. !!
My response is: please do not dishonor me or my profession. That has always stopped the behavior. My next line of defense is picking up my cell phone and telling the client I am dialing 311 to report you for solicitation. I am betting that would stop the issue if more MT’s would follow through.
Wake up Mac ! Most organized prostitution is sponsored my the local organized crime syndicates who pay heavily to the local police departments to looke the other way. In my town it’s the Korean mafia so we have many houses of prostitution under the guise of ” accupressure ” establishmnets. Unless you have a strong union who Pays the police more to inforce the laws they’re already paid to enforce you can forget any conversations that would net any positive results.
This is controversial but maybe they should just legalize prostitution, like they do in Holland and even in parts of Las Vegas – and then they can call it what it is and massage will no longer be used as an euphemism. Just an idea. I don’t know if it makes a difference, but I always specify I am a “Massage Therapist” and not a “Masseuse” but I don’t know if that is always enough. And really, I should be able to call myself either!
JGG I liked your response until the very last sentence: “That you should be able to call yourself either”. Since the massage therapy profession is trying to move foward, with calling people who do massage therapy massage therapists, why add confusion and go backward?
Charles
My experience in this situation is that when a male client who has had little or no previous experience getting massage, may have a body response which may be confusing to them. They then may interpret that as something they need to respond to in action. I find ignoring the situation unless they bring it up, has worked for me. If they say or do something to bring focus to their body response, I will then talk to them about the difference between therapy and sexual favors. If they are insistant on further action, I will end the session and make my self clear on my boundaries.
Legalize prostitution and the issue goes away. I never saw the problem in the massage industry all the years I lived in Europe where prostitution was a legal profession. We are here to help people and this solution would help the people in that “other” industry as well. Everyone would be healthier I wouldn’t ever have to take another stupid ethics CEU. Why do we have to take the course when it is clearly the occasional client who needs the course? Yes, even as a mature male massage therapist I have had the occasional proposition. No one argues when a 180 pound male therapist says no, laughs it off, and thanks them for the compliment. I have actually had some of them return again for theraputic work with no “hard” feelings. I admit I am grateful for my gender and size in this profession and feel for my female therapist friends who work in isolation and are more vunerable. I also feel for the sexworkers who could have better working conditons and health care if they were accepted for what it is they do for a living. There are no “bad guys” here just a lot of people who need help finding their way. After 14 years I still love this work.
Amen!
The same is true here in Australia. On a few occasions I have had some unwelcomed suggestions by new male clients of all ages, (most alarmingly one was actually a medical practitioner). I quickly and professionally explained my role as a qualified Massage Therapist.These clients do not tend to return.
I think we need to strongly emphasise the use of Therapist in this industry and continue to educate the public about our health care role. Diplomas and certificates must be displayed and history taking is vital.
Australia has yet to introduce formal registration of qualified therapists by government approved legislation. It is way overdue!