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A majority of massage therapy’s patrons are eager for the relaxation and/or therapeutic benefits of bodywork. Despite this general trend, massage therapy still operates within the service industry and, as such, its professionals interface with the unpredictable public. While the possibilities of managing difficult massage clients often depend on the type of practice you work in, few massage therapists completely escape an occasional encounter with a challenging client.

Recognizing Difficult Massage Clients

Although it may be uncomfortable to recount tales of challenging clients, bodyworkers can take solace in knowing that their colleagues also deal with abrasive personalities. Some qualities that can land people in this category include those who:

  • Disrespect the practitioner
  • Express prejudices freely
  • Speak unfavorably about others
  • Use inappropriate language or references

The first step in keeping your cool when a client proves to be a challenge is to own your contribution to the problem. As outlined by the universally understood Law of Attraction, like begets like. When viewed within the framework of a difficult client, this translates to a therapist’s own negativity has the potential to bring people into their practice with energy to match.

Self-Neglect

For caregivers, neglecting their own needs is one of the prime culprits for such negative energy. According to Nina McIntosh’s The Educated Heart, there are several warning signs your self-care needs more attention:

  1. The therapist begins to dread their clients’ arrivals.
  2. The therapist’s physical symptoms worsen while working.
  3. The therapist is irritable or rude with clients.
  4. Time moves very slowly during a session.
  5. The majority of a therapist’s clients seem to be difficult or demanding.
  6. A therapist’s clients ask, “How many sessions have you done today?” or “Do you ever get bodywork for yourself?”
  7. A therapist easily gets distracted while giving a massage.
  8. A therapist lacks inspiration about bodywork, health, and healing.

Recent wellness research emphasizes the importance of structured self-care routines such as ergonomic adjustments, regular bodywork, and mindfulness practices to prevent burnout and sustain career longevity.

Countertransference

In addition to neglecting your own self-care, countertransference may be at the root of an uncomfortable interaction with a client. According to the NCBTMB’s handbook, countertransference is defined as “a practitioner’s unresolved feelings and issues, which are unconsciously transferred to the client.”

When a client seems challenging, it is important to assess whether you are transferring feelings about a different person or situation to your current interaction. All too often, the client’s words, attitude, or behavior function as a trigger for the therapist’s unresolved issues. For this very reason, bodyworkers must be able to analyze and identify the underlying reason for their perception of a difficult client. Recognizing that you are transferring feelings about someone else to your client is usually sufficient to change your perspective. For more information about this phenomenon and how to prevent it, read “How Countertransference Jeopardizes the Therapeutic Relationship.”

Modern psychology suggests countertransference can be managed through supervision, reflective practice, and emotional regulation strategies, helping therapists maintain professionalism while learning from the dynamic.

Practical Steps for Managing Difficult Massage Clients

Whether a therapist believes that they have or have not contributed to attracting or perceiving a challenging personality into their practice, there are several steps to make the session more pleasant. Depending on the situation, the following suggestions may or may not be appropriate:

Seek Positive Traits

Look for a great quality in your client and focus on that.

De-stress Before Sessions

Release any stress you may be holding before seeing clients to clear away your negative energy.

Create Boundaries

If your client pushes limits or is disrespectful, assertively define appropriate behavior within your practice.

Refer Out When Necessary

If the stress associated with a specific client cannot be overcome, remember your prerogative to refer elsewhere.

While these tactics work for the majority of challenging clients, they are not foolproof. Practitioners must let their safety, better judgment and professional ethics guide them whenever questionable circumstances arise.

For more in-depth strategies, see Clinic Sense’s guide to dealing with difficult massage clients.

Conclusion: Staying Professional While Managing Difficult Massage Clients

Different personalities abound and, as more people seek bodywork, their diversity is represented in massage therapists’ clientele. Since so many now choose to receive bodywork, a client who rubs you the wrong way is likely to surface eventually. When this happens, therapists must first evaluate the possibility that they are contributing to the problem. Such recognition swiftly diffuses the situation. Additionally, focusing on positive traits, releasing stress, setting boundaries, and referring out when needed can help therapists manage difficult clients.

Originally posted December 2010. Updated December 19, 2025.

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